Friday, July 1, 2011

I ain't mean but you just messed with the wrong bitch

"I ain't mean, but you just messed with the wrong bitch"

These few days had been quite an emotional turmoil for me. The quote above may sound like mean but to be honest, I'm not sure if others would have the patience to go through it if they were in my shoes. I'm not helding my head up high, being proud or something but anyone wouldn't get through it without having the mental effect of wishing you would like to choke on someone or something, or harboring murderous thoughts including me haha jk.

This is the very first time of my life thinking that relationships just doesn't mean anything anymore. I feel traumatized and scared to be honest. Others may feel like it after they had gone through a horrible divorce. But thankfully, I'm not married yet nor faced a divorced. So I guess it wasn't as that bad. But still, it left a strong pain inside my heart. I've learned something valuable from it. Remember when we were still very young and still schooling? Our parents would say "do not have any special boyfriend/girlfriend" and they would lectured us if we had a boyfie/gf. It makes sense to me now why our parents kept us at bay away from the 'kapel-kapel' things haha. They just doesn't want us to get hurt with heart ache. Homework, school work, extra curricular activities at school were already an 'ache'. Having an extra ache is just terrible..

I can imagine how it would be like if I'm facing all these heart ache during my school years. It would spell F.A.I.L and that includes the exams marks :p

What I felt, my feelings, I rarely shares it with anyone. Most of the time, I just kept it to myself and hoping that those pain will go away as time goes by. But up until now, I've learnt that time doesn't heal my wounds. It might to others but I guess I'm just weird. Time doesn't really work for me

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