Friday, October 15, 2010
I Need A Surge Of Energy
Lately I've been feeling freakily lazy as to an extend, I don't know what caused it that way. It's a really pathetic and frustrating feeling since final exams are just around the corner. Much to my surprise, I feel upset with my whole life lately. Everything came down all at the same time.
Been an always hopeful and imaginative person for my whole life, but what happened recently makes me feel giving up on hopes. I have always reasons out things so that it makes me comfortable and not having too much -ve vibe about certain things when I'm about to think it as -ve. I just felt like giving up on hopes because at some point, I was the only person hoping.. I'm talking about boys. Remembering back, it is always Anna that starts everything. A conversation. A meet up. A relationship. Almost everything. It feels tired and it gets lame at some point.
I'm not the person who fiddles with almost every guys hearts out there nor the person who gives out the wrong signals to every guy and makes them think I have feelings for them. I steered/steer out clear when I like someone and when I don't.
But lately, I feel lame and I just questioned is there something wrong with me? I wants nothing more than people to put high hopes and expectations of me because I don't know how that feels like as I was too busy putting up hopes and expectations towards other people.. It's kinda sad :/
*sigh* People always stressed that "the past are pasts". But then, why do I feel like somehow, the pasts holds people from achieving things that they could achieve in the present/future? Is it fair to implement the pasts towards the people that are living now because you are afraid to fail, while you actually don't know, your implementation somehow failed other people and drove them away slowly?